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Chuck Hegel Converts to Islam

Written by Diamond Dog on 01 April 2008.

In a late-breaking news development today, Chuck Hagel, Republican senator from Nebraska, announced that he is renouncing his former religion of Wicca paganism and is following the Religion of Peace, Islam.

Said Hagel at a press junket, called specifically for his announcement;

After witnessing the evils that George W. Bush has inflicted upon this world in the name of Christianity, I have come to realize that the Prophet Mohommed leads the way to true world peace and 72 virgins in heaven.

Senator Hagel then excused himself from the occasion so that he could join Congressmen Keith Ellison and Andre Carson for a halal lunch at which they would discuss new ways to destroy America from the inside, since doing so from the outside seems to be failing badly.

In case you are reading this and wondering how the world could have gone so very wrong with yet another unbelievable development of horrific proportions, APRIL FOOL!